Rugby is not a sport for the faint hearted. Broken bones and cauliflower ears are all part of a regular Saturday. Despite this, it is a hugely popular sport. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch 20 stone men kick lumps out of each other? But what is more extreme than the sport is the stories of the dressing room, the banter in the bar, the initiation horror stories. Rugby players pride themselves on going to disgusting new lengths when it comes to the crack. This, of course, makes for great stories to tell, which is why we are bringing you 10 of the best. Rugby rage: 10 side splitting stories from the ruck. Read below to hear the howlers, at your own risk!
1
Rugby Rage: Naked Initiation
Chris, 33
“One of the wings I played with in HS went on to play his University rugby at a school in Canada. On the bus home from playing another university 3 hours away, the bus pulled over on the side of the highway. All of the freshmen were instructed to dismount, and disrobe. Everything was taken from them except their socks and shoes, and the bus then drove ahead a mile, forcing all the freshmen to run naked up the side of the highway for a mile.”
2
Rugby Rage: Hot Sauce Horror
Cam, 27
“For initiation we had to drink a handle of vodka, an entire keg, a bottle of hot damn, eat a gigantic fucking onion, and finally drink a bottle of sweaty Mexican (hot sauce and tequila) collectively as a rookie class. Mine had 9 rookies including me. While were doing this we have to learn each others names, parents names, and brothers and sisters names. After all this was done we have a trial where we are accused of a crime and our punishment is to take a shot of random shit (vodka, mayo, whiskey ketchup, milk, anything) and given our rugby name.
I was the biggest guy there (loose head prop) so I pretty much put the team on my back. Drank half the hot damn and sweaty Mexican, ate a good portion of the onion, and more than my share of the beer (longest and 3rd longest keg stands of the night). When I had to drink the sweaty Mexican I smelled it and started screaming “HOT SAUCE?!!!?? HOT SAUCE?!?! IM FUCKING INDIAN, I FUCKING LOVE HOT SAUCE” before I got down on one knee and chugged 3/4 of that bottle while flipping off all my vets. Blacked out as soon as I was called up for my trial. Woke up the next morning on the rugby house couch naked with vomit in one of my shoes and my phone and wallet in the other. I actually chipped a tooth but it was barely noticeable.”
3
Rugby Rage: The Chase
Karl, 24
“For the end of season piss up, the idea was a fox hunt. Freshers dress up as foxes, second years as hounds and third years over dress as huntsmen. Each year gets a 5 minute head start on the next to do a pub crawl across town with a series of challenges. These start off relatively easy, a pint of lager, 2 doubles, 5 jagerbombs, etc but quickly escalate. By midway the drinks generally include stouts, ciders or a variety of dirty pints. At the end a bottle of port isn’t uncommon, neither is cider heavily laced with vodka.
Personally I thought a pint of guinness with 4 shots of baileys in was the low point, the curdled gunk going down really agitates your gag reflex. The idea being that if you don’t end up with alcohol poisoning or a trail of chunder following you then you’re doing it wrong. If the hounds catch the foxes or the hunters catch the hounds then punishments are dealt out swiftly. The hounds and huntsmen carry bottles of spirits with them to ensure that the rules are upheld and generally you will be forced to drink until you’re sick.”
4
Rugby Rage: Colorblind
Ben, 22
“A guy I used to play with with had a pretty crazy novice initiation at his old club. They would blindfold the first year guys and throw them in a dark closet which was empty except for a strobe light, a fog machine, a stereo blasting “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” or something similar, and a pile of Skittles. Then they would scream at the new guy to sort them into piles by color, and lock him in.
They would come back in after ten minutes and usually the kid would have some semblance of piles. But one time, they came back and the kid had just spread them out and was sitting there crying.
They were shocked and started yelling at him again, “WTF is this?” “This is garbage” etc.
And through his tears, the kid says, “I’m colorblind!”
They felt pretty bad and let him do something else.”
5
Rugby Rage: Uni
Jade, 21
“There is some ridiculous shit at my uni that sports clubs do for initiations (or adoptions as they’re now called to get around the rules). The rugby club is banned from the SU for an initiation ritual in which they would hold freshers over the edge of the terrace bar (first floor balcony with brick underneath) by their ankles and make them whack pints. The football club can’t hold adoptions in the SU, last year there was a choice between playing soggy biscuit, downing a pint from a shoe with a live goldfish in or shaving your head. I was surprised to see a large number of footballers still with hair the day after.”
6
Rugby Rage: Obstacle Course
Thomas, 35
“At college, the rugby team seniors would set up the front yard with tables, mattresses, whatever we could find to create the course. The new recruits then ran through the course while we shot at them with a paintball gun. At each barrier, they had eggs they could throw back at the shooter. A bit unfair, but they were new recruits. Anyway if you got shot, you had to slam a beer and start over. If you made it through to the end you were done. If you hit the shooter with an egg, he become a temporary recruit and had to run the course until he made it through.”
7
Rugby Rage: Scarred For Life
“The worst hazing ritual I’ve personally witnessed was a 6’4″ shirtless hulk of a loose head prop braced/held down while two other men used a blow torch to heat up a branding iron with the Rugby Club’s symbol. As soon as the branding iron was glowing red, they put a hood on the prop’s head… then pulled an identical branding iron out of a bucket of ice water and pressed it to his chest. Safe to say he shit his pants.”
8
Rugby Rage: A Joke About Wales
Warren Gatland takes Wales out for training and tells everyone to assume their normal position. So they all go and stand behind the goalposts and wait for the conversion.
9
Rugby Rage: A Joke About Ireland
What do you call an Irishman holding a bottle of champagne after the Rugby World Cup Final?
A Waiter.
10
Rugby Rage: A Psychological Evaluation
Your favourite sport says a lot about your life. For example: Rugby has a breakdown every ten seconds, and so do I.
Rugby initiations are some of the worst experiences in the lives of young men, but if done right, can be absolutely hilarious. It is a gentlemans sport, with a lot of not so gentle men. But one, for sure, with its fair share of laughs! If you want to buy the t-shirts that inspired this blog please click here. If you are enjoying our blogs and new content then please head over to our Facebook and like our page and support us in our ever growing business and community! Thanks for reading!
