Welcome to the wild world of crazy friends! We all have that one pal who effortlessly injects chaos, laughter, and memories into our lives. They are the masters of mischief, the architects of adventure, and the champions of spontaneity. In this blog, we’ll be delving into ten hilarious and heart warming stories that celebrate the spirit of these trouble-making friends. From daring escapades to their uncanny ability to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary, get ready to embark on a rollercoaster ride of laughter, nostalgia, and camaraderie. These stories will remind you of the joy that comes with embracing the unpredictable moments and the friends that are fuelled by pure anarchy. So fasten your seatbelts, hold on tight, and prepare to dive headfirst into a world where crazy is the new normal and where our wildest friends take centre stage. This is crazy companions: 10 Troublemaking Tales Of Nightmare Friends!
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1
Crazy Companions: Projectile Mayhem
“In this story, unfortunately I am the nightmare friend!
When my best friend came out to me, before I could say anything- I projectile vomited. Not once, but twice. Right after she said the words “I’m gay”. Luckily it didn’t land on her, but it was pretty messy. She assumed this was me showing my disapproval, ran out of my house crying and went home.
So here I am, with an upset best friend who thinks I don’t love her anymore because she’s gay, covered in my own vomit which is also covering my kitchen floor, and enough nausea to take down a horse. Not to mention horrific guilt for upsetting my friend. I cleaned myself and kitchen floor up and attempted to call her, no answer. I took some nausea medication and took a nap to see if the nausea would subside.
Sure enough, I wake up 12 hours later, and you guessed it- covered in my own vomit. Again.
I went to the doctor and apparently had a really severe stomach virus, she prescribed me some meds and I was fine. So I called my best friend again, and she finally answered. I explained to her that I was totally fine with her being gay, and was 100% supportive of her. I explained the stomach virus situation and told her I had directions on how to take care of myself to prove it. 2 years later we’re still best friends, and now we love to laugh about my projectile vomiting.”
2
Crazy Companions: Jack’O’Lantern Lunacy
I was at a bonfire/house party just after Halloween, and a few people (including my buddy Nick) were playing kickball with an old Jack-O-Lantern. One guy gets the brilliant idea to light the Jack-O-Lantern on fire so they could play “flaming kickball”. Okay, cool guys. Someone’s girlfriend voices her concern, but everyone ignores her because she obviously can’t be too smart questioning the genius idea that is “flaming pumpkin kickball”!
Obviously the Jack-O-Lantern is not very flammable, so this guy runs into the house and returns with a bottle of BBQ lighter fluid. The guy hosting the party sees the growing excitement, runs into his shed and returns with some fuel system treatment in a f*cking water bottle. Awesome. “Give me that lighter fluid!” he says, and he dumps a good quantity of it into the water bottle and swirls it around with the fuel treatment, like a poor man’s Molatov cocktail. So they dump it all over the Jack-O-Lantern and toss the bottle aside. Someone grabs a lighter and BAM, sh*t’s roastin’. Everyone starts kicking this flaming vegetable to one another and laughing like idiots. I just drink my beer and watch.
One guy winds his leg back and power-kicks this thing across the yard. Lo and behold, it’s flaming path rolls right over the abandoned water bottle, which apparently still had a good amount of liquid in it. All these idiots (Nick included) abandon the Jack-O-Lantern and run over to this now aflame water bottle. It was like watching early man literally discovering fire. They’re all grunting and “oooh”-ing while nudging the melting plastic with their toes. Suddenly, Nick just stomps on the thing, which sends a streaming jet of FLAMING fuel treatment/lighter fluid up Nick’s pants. Nick is now on fire.
Everyone collectively loses their f*cking minds. People are screaming “STOP DROP AND ROLL DUDE. DUDE. DUDE. STOP DROP AND ROLL.” Other, slightly more intelligent people are yelling at him to “take his f*cking pants off!” Nick is aflame, running at anyone and everyone in a desperate attempt for help. People come out of the house to watch the unfolding disaster at hand. Finally, some guy gives Nick a good leg sweep and takes him to the ground. Some other a**hole starts yelling “F*CKING ROLL NICK. YOU STOPPED, YOU DROPPED, NOW ROLL YOU F*CK!” The aforementioned girlfriend runs over and starts beating the flames out with her sweatshirt while screaming “TAKE OFF YOUR F*CKING PANTS BRO.”
Eventually Nick is extinguished. He stands up in the middle of the crowded yard and takes his f*cking pants off “just in case”.
3
Crazy Companions: Broken Appendage
“The first time my friend masturbated he thought he broke his penis and ran to his mum who is a nurse, crying with semen all over his hands haha.”
4
Crazy Companions: The Movie Moron
“I worked as an assistant manager at a movie theatre. Since I was a manager, I influenced who got hired so I got my friend Dwayne a job. Now Dwayne wasn’t smart by any means, but I figured he could handle sweeping the theatres. He did just that for the first month, but one day we were slammed for a weekday and I needed someone to run the box office. I thought hey, I’ve trained Dwayne in the box office before, he can handle this.
Well, 10 minutes in Dwayne and has me in there every other minute fixing something his big dumb hands had broken or couldn’t figure out. So finally he calls me in there when there was this older couple waiting for there ticket. He had jammed the machine and the computer wouldn’t recognize it as a sale since it didn’t shoot out the ticket hole. I couldn’t get it to respond and there was a line forming so I said just let them in free.
I go to the projector booth for about 45 min and was pleasantly surprised Dwayne hadn’t paged me for anything. I’m pretty happy and the set was almost over, so go back to thank Dwayne for doing a good job. With the goofiest looking grin he says he was so glad he was the one that got to tell all the customers over the almost hour period they got to go in free, I was so pissed. I asked him please tell me you didn’t ring these people up? He responds that yes, the machine and the computer worked perfectly from that point on. The owner demoted me to floor staff and Dwayne quit a week later.”
5
Crazy Companions: The God Of Thunder
“A personal favourite memory happened with my friend Gav during our time at uni. Gav had four exams in one day, and none of his professors would let him reschedule. we went to a not easy engineering school, so it’s easy to see he was under a ginormous amount of pressure. Well it got to him, and the week before finals he snapped. He locked himself in his room on the seventh floor of one of our student apartment towers, but not before stealing EVERY SINGLE light bulb on the floor. Gav then spent the next few hours throwing bulbs out of his window at people, cars, or really anything. And every time he did so, he would yell out “I AM ZEUS, GOD OF THUNDER!” And that’s when my university decided to make a policy to allow students with more than two exams in the same day to reschedule.”
6
Crazy Companions: Soup
“One of my friends at work can be slightly erratic. He’s a really friendly calm nice guy most of the time. A number of years ago he was working a lot of overtime and tried to get a cup of soup from the vending machine and it got stuck. So naturally, as any normal person would in this situation, he very calmly came back with a hammer, smashed the glass, then sat down and ate his soup. They gave him a few weeks off and he’s still working here.
A couple weeks ago I was sitting next to the vending machines and he came in and chose a soup, it fell and got stuck. I got really nervous, but he just left.
Perhaps he couldn’t find his hammer.”
7
Crazy Companions: Nightclub Altercation
“I’m doing a DJ set at one of my normal strip clubs I work at. This HUGE South American guy decides to take out his phone and try taking pictures of the girls. One of the bouncers comes over and exclaims that he can’t do that, and to put the phone away or he would take it. The guy nods and puts his phone away. 20 minutes later, he’s back at it again. The bouncer comes over and takes his phone and walks away. The dude FLIPS. He gets up, starts screaming in Spanish, flips two tables, and is pointing at the bouncer who took his phone. The bouncer approaches him to handle the situation and the guy shoves him clear across the club.
He continues to flip out, but his time is coming to an abrupt end. My best friend is also a bouncer at this club, and he happens to be a 6’7” 300lbs of pure muscle African bouncer. He also is a black belt and a very well trained MMA fighter. He sneaks up behind the guy, puts him in a sleeper hold, and about 8 seconds later the guy drops to floor. The bouncer bends over, grabs the dude by the belt/pants, lifts his whole body off the ground with 1 arm, looks at everyone, yells out “EVERYTHING IS FINE!” and then proceeds to carry him out the front door with one arm. The dude looked like a human duffle bag.”
8
Crazy Companions: VIP (Very Important Pen)
“One day, my buddy who was a manager at my workplace completely lost his shit over nothing.
So this one day, he’s with another manager on the call floor. This other manager is a really young thin pale guy, who I believe even had medical problems. So the young manager is kind of flirting with a female co-worker and jokingly takes her pen away. The my manager friend for some reason, feels the need to step in. “Ok, that’s enough give her back her pen.” The younger manager continues to taunt the female co-worker by not giving it back. She was giggling and such the whole time this is going on.
Suddenly out of nowhere, my buddy manager switches to beast mode and goes “GIMME THAT MOTHER F*CKING PEN!” and tackles the dude onto the floor. A colleague of mine at the time got a snapshot of the altercation. So in the pic, there’s this portly Jewish guy on top of a skinny pale dude, clutching onto a pen and in the foetal position on the floor.”
9
Crazy Companions: Insanely Religious
“I had a friend who was so Christian that he could make you believe he was capable of walking on water. He had straight A’s in high school and was the perfect role model in the eyes of our local community. After I moved away from my hometown he changed completely. Someone had convinced him to rent a video from the city library that claimed Jesus had smoked weed. That day he decided to start smoking and eventually he somehow justified using harder drugs.
From what I was able to gather, he had one bad acid trip that he was never able to come back from. He claims to see the world in codes and symbols, similar to that of the Matrix. The last time I spoke with him he sat in front of my old home staring at a flower, which he claimed had great symbolic meaning and was speaking to him. He also told me that he had spoken to “God” personally and was able to determine “God’s” real name. When asked what this name was, all he would do is stretch his fingers out in a floss-like fashion. We decided to just leave it at that.
The last eye witness account of this individual was at my hometown coffee shop, where he was instructed by “God” to recruit 12 disciples. He was then instructed to teach his disciples how to fly using the gifts that “God” had given him. He also claimed to possess the power of time travel, but would not share this power with others. When he went inside to order a coffee and was approached by a mutual friend, he proceeded to run to the corner of the shop and scream “YAHTZEE” at the top of his lungs until he was kicked out.
After speaking to some old acquaintances from my hometown I have gathered that he is now on a multitude of drugs, including Lithium. I have also learned that he is now homeless and living in and around our hometown shopping center where he can be observed meditating in his full orange jumpsuit in front of traffic.”
10
Crazy Companions: The Prague Pooper
“When on holiday in Prague my dumb friend got really drunk and decided to leave the club and race back to the apartment we where staying. Only problem was he didn’t tell anyone and he didn’t have keys. When he got there he climbed over this huge gate, and got stuck in between the gate and the door. He rang the buzzer but there was no one in as we were all still at the club. A couple of hours later we get back to the accommodation and find him lying beside the door asleep. We then notice a massive piece of sh*t right beside him. He said it wasn’t him but he cleaned it the next day.
On our last morning we get picked up to take us to the airport, on route to the airport I notice we are going a different way so I asked the driver where we were going? He said to the office to pay. We had already paid so this left us confused. We get to the office and myself and the dumb friend go in to the office and the receptionist burst outs laughing. She then calmed down and said we had fines to pay.
She slid us over a sheet of paper, it said we had to pay for 4 noise complaints. This was fine but the next line said we had a 100€ fine for excrement In a communal area. We said it wasn’t us but then with a smirk she said we have it on cctv. We all started laughing and asked to see the footage. She declined. We went back out to the van and told everyone and took our college money and paid the fine. Some of the group where mad but I think it was worth it for such a funny story!”
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Our life is woven with colourful threads, and amidst those threads are the tales of our crazy friends. These ten tales have taken us on a rollercoaster ride of laughter, adventure, and even a few heart-stopping moments. Through their quirks and eccentricities, our friends have taught us the value of spontaneity and the beauty of embracing the unpredictable. They have reminded us that life is meant to be lived to the fullest, with joy and abandon. There is no doubt that their presence has infused our lives with an indescribable magic. These stories serve as a testament to the power of friendship. They have given us memories to cherish and anecdotes to share for years to come.
So, here’s to our crazy friends, the ones who colour outside the lines, dance to their own beat, and add an extraordinary touch to our ordinary lives. They are the true stars of our personal narratives, and we are forever grateful for their wild and wonderful presence. If you want to buy the t-shirt that inspired this blog then please click HERE. If you want to read more crazy friend stories then please click HERE. Thanks once again for reading our blog, stay tuned for more hilarious entries in the future!
