The season to be jolly is upon us! Christmas is a lot of peoples favourite time of the year. Families come together, friends celebrate in style, generosity is at an all time high. Some of the fondest memories people have occur during the December months, and some of the funniest anecdotes happen as well as this. So to celebrate the start of the period, our weeks blog is all about hilarious mishaps and events that happened around Xmas. This blog is Crazy Christmas: 10 Xmas tales full of joy. Grab a cup of cocoa, sit by the fire and read away with a smile. I am certain that wrapping the presents and writing the cards can wait for five minutes!
1
Crazy Christmas: At War With The Trees
“My family only ever got one real tree. This being my parents first buying experience they didn’t know that you can get a slanted trunk that won’t stay up. My dad realized that after attempting to get it to stay up multiple times. This was back when he had less control over anger. My mom leaves the room for a bit and comes back to find he had chucked the tree off the balcony of the apartment.
We’ve had the same fake tree my whole life.”
2
Crazy Christmas: The Hostage
“My younger cousin snuck my present from the tree at my grandparents’, and held it hostage for about a month or so. We were all bewildered and freaked out, and my grandpa took their lab to the vet’s office to make sure he didn’t eat it.
I remember crying, because I was the only kid who didn’t get a present, out of 8-9 cousins. My aunt eventually found it in his room. So always make sure that all gifts are accounted for and there for Christmas, and that nothing is missing. It’s the difference between a happy christmas, and the christmas of a whining screaming child, while all of my cousins lost faith in their belief of Santa Claus.”
3
Crazy Christmas: Oily Affair
“My favourite Christmas story of all time was when my ex had been on an oil painting course so I’d bought her all the gear for Christmas; Easel, oil paints, fine art brushes, the lot… and that stuff ain’t cheap either. I’d bought it over several months and got her the best of everything. Brilliant present… or so I thought.
Cut too, Christmas day and the big present opening, she opens all this stuff, bursts into tears, runs out of our flat gets in the car and drives off nearly crashing said car into the neighbours wall. It took me 8 hours to track her down and find out what the hell just happened?
Turns out she hadn’t been on an oil painting course at all, she’d been shagging some married bloke every Wednesday in a hotel down the road.
Merry Christmas me.”
4
Crazy Christmas: Double Jeopardy
“This actually happened to a friend of mine – I’ll call him Will. So Will went to the pub with some of our other friends on Christmas Eve. He got really drunk and missed the last train home, which would have been fine except the pub was in the middle of nowhere.
Will ended up having to go home with our other friend, ‘Mike’, and spend Christmas morning with Mike’s family. There were no trains – obviously, on Christmas Day – so Mike’s dad had to drive Will home again, which was a two-hour round trip. Christmas ruined for two families – impressive.”
5
Crazy Christmas: Joyful Janitor
“There was this quiet, old janitor that worked our office building who was scheduled to retire on Christmas, so our Christmas party kind of included his farewell; we gave gifts to each other, put up a Christmas tree, people brought cakes and pastries, Christmas stuff.
Then here comes the old janitor and he leaves a fairly big bag of presents under the tree; we’re all kind of surprised because no one seemed to interact with him that much, but nonetheless we thank him and wish him the best and stuff, then he leaves and presumably sets off to the Midwest. The next day, we open the presents, including his.
Turns out, the retiring janitor gave everyone in the office a little bottle of sulfuric acid. Everybody got one, even me, I still have it. We don’t know where he got them or how much they cost, but apparently, he hated our guts.”
6
Crazy Christmas: The Wrong Brownies
“A place that I worked at about eight years ago had a huge Xmas party. One of the managers brought brownies and the director of operations (let’s call him Jack) was the first to try them as we were setting up the food table.
About half an hour later, as we were finishing up, Jack starts giggling and talking about how tall he feels. The guy who brought the brownies grabbed the wrong plate as he left the house and accidentally brought pot brownies. Needless to say, we gathered as many of the stoners as we could to clear that plate before anyone else got to them and tried to keep Jack away from other management.”
7
Crazy Christmas: Get Me My Basement
“When I was 8 years old, all I wanted was my basement to be turned into this really cool game/play room. I was writing up blueprints and planning out the basement for months. I was even going to install this 25 ft. long shark tank on one wall.
Christmas morning came, and I rushed downstairs with my brother to see what ‘Santa’ (I knew at the time Santa wasn’t real, but my brother still believed) had brought us. We dug through all the presents and all of them had his name on them, and not one was for me. I asked my parents what was up and they feigned ignorance, ‘I dunno John… that’s weird’. I knew they were up to something… something big, so I stood patiently with a hint of excitement in my eye, as my brother opened presents.
He started showing off all his gifts to me, and I kept cool, knowing that whatever my parents were planning was bound to be amazing. Not a minute after my brother opened his last gift, my father came over to me and handed me a small, but heavy box. ‘For you son,’ he said with a grin. I slowly and carefully opened the box, ready for the best Christmas present of my life. It was my Dad’s hammer from the garage. Poker face. My mind, blank.
‘Son, we’re going to take that hammer and build you that basement you’ve always wanted.’ A rush of emotion swelled. I had no presents and no basement; 8 year old me had been cheated. I took the hammer, wound up, and sailed it across the room and through the window, into the brisk winter morning. Spent the rest of Christmas day repairing the window by myself. Never got that basement either.”
8
Crazy Christmas: ‘CAT’astrophe
“My cat had a thing for climbing into our fake Christmas tree. He would climb up into the branches, and the metal spokes that held them there would break. Finally we got tired of it and put tinfoil under the tree skirt. We heard it worked for some people and figured we’d try it. Turns out it did work, the cat refused to step foot into the tree skirt and subsequently climb the tree. So it did the next best thing.
The little bastard climbed the cat tower and poised himself on the top, ready to pounce. We sat and watched from the sofa as he launched himself into the air, and landed IN the tree. The whole tree fell as one of the legs holding it up snapped. The whole thing came crashing to the ground. The cat crawled out of the wreckage, fur all in a mess and looked back with a smirk.”
9
Crazy Christmas: Wrong Present
“We were all retrieving presents from under the tree and opening them. I’d bought my wife some super-expensive mascara and face creams that she’d said she wanted, but my mum read the tag wrong and thought the gift was for her. She opened it instead and neither my wife or I had the heart to tell her that it wasn’t for her. My wife didn’t mind too much until a couple of weeks later, when Mum revealed that she preferred the stuff she got from Boots.”
10
Crazy Christmas: What Friends Are For
“It was pretty late on Christmas Eve and I was walking back down the hill to my house from the pub.
Suddenly, I felt my stomach lurch and I knew that I needed to go to the loo. Luckily, I was walking by the house of my mate’s parents. So even though they’d already gone to bed, I knocked on their door. I explained that I needed to use their facilities.
They let me in, I violated their toilet and then left. Didn’t even send them a thank you card.”
Some funny, some wild, and some horror stories there for you to enjoy and show your friends over the festive period. So, remember to appreciate your family this Christmas and be grateful for what you have, it could always be worse. Also, if your girlfriend tells you she’s been oil painting, it may be time to leave her. If you want to browse the Christmas t-shirts that inspired this blog then please click HERE. If you want to read more funny Xmas stories then please click HERE. Thankyou for reading our blog, we are thankful for your support as always. Furthermore, make sure you stay notified with our activity and tune in next time for more outlandish stories!
