The 14th February is a day supposedly filled with love, laughter and romantic gestures. Valentines Day is a tradition that goes back centuries. It is done to bring couples closer together through the expression of affection directed towards their partner. It is also designed to create new sparks of romance, a day to confess your feelings to your crush. Sometimes it also goes swimmingly, sometimes it doesn’t. Todays blog is all about those failed gestures of love and the awkward event that occurred after. This blog is VILE VALENTINES: 10 LOVE STORIES GONE WRONG.
DISCLAIMER: We are not responsible for any cringey unwanted memories dredged up whilst reading.
1
Vile Valentines: The Parent Predicament
Dude here. When I was a freshman in college my parents decided the wanted to come visit me the weekend of Valentines day and wanted me to come out and meet them in the city for dinner that night. I was a little pissed as I wanted to go get drunk at a bar somewhere and take advantage of all the single, lonely ladies looking for some love, but oh well.
So I’m in the city with my parents and we had some time to kill until a dinner reservation when my mom suggests we go to the bar across the street and have some drinks. We go across the street and find a table and sit down. My mom immediately gets up to go to the bathroom, and my dad leaves the bar to go check in with the restaurant.
I’m start to look around and observe my surroundings, and I realized 3 things, in this order:
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There is not a single girl in here…
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Why are all the guys staring at me?
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Oh shit…
My parents left me alone in a gay bar on Valentines day. One of the guys came over and asked how I was doing. I ignored him, waited for my mom to get out of the bathroom, grabbed our coats, and left.
2
Vile Valentines: Date Hijack
In sixth grade I had a crush on a girl and I wanted to send her a rose (something the school did) but, I didn’t want her to know it was me (my handwriting is incredibly distinguishable and I was really shy) so I paid one of my friends a dollar to write her name and “Happy Valentines Day, From Your Secret Admirer” on the card. He went to the desk set up at lunch and turned in the card. Everyone at my lunch table (I should have mentioned this took place during lunch) watched as one of the teachers delivered the card to Lauren. (for that was her name)
We continued to watch as she smiled and giggled with her friends, she then jumped up and ran to the desk where they were selling the card/roses wrote some stuff down and then ran back to her table. A few moments later, the teacher got up and walked over to my table, she gave a card to my friend, (that I paid to write the note) It was from Lauren, she had recognized his handwriting, and wanted to go on a date. He got up and went to her table and accepted the offer. Jackass.
3
Vile Valentines: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
I was 17. My boyfriend of a year broke up with me over the phone while I was visiting my dad in another city. An hour later, my mother called sobbing because she’d had a knock-down drag-out fight with her boyfriend. My stepmom had been verbally abused and then called into work by her heinous boss (it was a Saturday).
My poor shell-shocked father, dealing with three crying women, tried to make it better by taking my stepmom and I to a movie at the end of the day. Then my poor stepmom was really late getting out of work, so we missed the movie we wanted to see and settled for something none of us really cared about, just so we’d have something to do.
After the movie we went to dinner. My dad dropped my stepmom and I off in front of the restaurant and then pulled around the corner to park and was hit by an oncoming car. He was fine, but the car was totalled. Worst V-day ever.
4
Vile Valentines: Gay For A Night
I blew my cars tire and my friend came to my aid to bail me out. Were both straight dudes and forgot it was valentines. We decided to have dinner whilst we waiting for my car to be fixed and both were coming from important meetings so had suits on. We didn’t catch on until the end on how the entire restaurant and waiting staff thought we were just the cutest gay couple. Awkward.
5
Vile Valentines: They Don’t Need It
I was a pastry chef at this big resort in cape cod. We got a special order from this guy who was coming in for his anniversary (Valentine’s day). He wanted his desert to have “Will you marry me?” written on it so he could pop the question when it came out. He called ahead to the front and back kitchen, even came in himself that morning to make sure it was good to go. The whole crew was behind him. We had cooks all night coming in the ask if it had happened yet. I wrote the inscription on the plate and dressed it to the nines with gold leaf and expensive chocolate. I’m taking a picture of the plate just before it’s set to go out and notice our head waiter come in with a weird look on his face. He says plainly “They don’t need it”
She broke up with him before the entrees hit the table.
6
Vile Valentines: The Pregnancy Problem
I was working as a duty manager at a food place and one of the tills kept dropping off the network. As I was trying to fix it I could clearly hear the conversation of the table by the waiters station. It started out sweet enough with her excitedly telling him she was pregnant. He went quiet and didn’t say anything for a bit and then asked her what the plan was. She said she was keeping the baby. He said he didn’t want kids and had told her this. She got upset and said she thought he’d be happy and change his mind when he found out. (By this point I’ve fixed the till, but am unable to step away from this car crash.)
Turns out she stopped taking the pill without telling him thinking she could turn him around. He said he knew she could be a little nuts sometimes but this was next level. The flabbergasted boyfriend told her it was over and she could send someone to collect her things as he wanted nothing more to do with her. He called me over to pay the bill and just left. The guy never even shouted, he just calmly went fuck this and strolled out of there. I couldn’t even look her in the eye, just left her to leave in her own time.
7
Vile Valentines: A Toothless Proposal
I was a bartender at a local pub where an Old man proposed to an old woman. He tried to get off the chair to kneel, tripped and fell and I assume broke something since he couldn’t get back up and we had to call an ambulance. My manager had to drive her teeth to the hospital separately because she had taken them out to eat her soup (lord knows why) and left them on the table in the confusion. I don’t know if she said yes, my manager didn’t get to see them at the hospital, only passed on her teeth to the nurse.
8
Vile Valentines: Not The Chocolate!
Me and my girlfriend were sharing dessert on Valentines Day at a high end parlour. I playfully put a bit of the ice cream on her nose she then did the same and I did it back once more but with a different flavour of ice cream. She then completely flipped out at me because “you know I like chocolate the most why would you waste it you idiot”. In the end she stormed out because I couldn’t comprehend how much she was blowing up the situation. We broke up three days later.
9
Vile Valentines: Well This Is Awkward
I was working as a waitress in a Sushi restaurant and Valentine’s Day was an all-hands-on-deck shift. This guy I had just started seeing wanted to go out, but I told him that working in food service, you never get Valentine’s Day off and we’d just have to celebrate the day after or the weekend after.
Nope. He got so upset that he went and asked a different girl out, came to the restaurant I worked at on V-Day and sat in MY SECTION. He then proceeded to spend the entire evening making a fool out of himself and making his date uncomfortable as he tried to make me jealous.
Needless to say we didn’t go out again. Ever.
10
Vile Valentines: The Tinder Terror
Me and my boyfriend were sitting at the bar were enjoying our night out. My man got up from his barstool and left for the bathroom. As I was alone (and absolutely wasted) at the bar, a random woman approached me and revealed that she recently matched with my boyfriend on Tinder and had hooked up a week earlier. I (out of pure disbelief) refused to believe this story, so the woman showed me his Tinder profile and their conversation. My scumbag boyfriend returned to a drunk, sobbing and screaming girlfriend.
I felt like I was in a reality tv show, it was incredible. I was basically carried out of the bar by my boyfriend of 3 years whom I had just discovered had been cheating on me for who knows how long. It was the most dramatic moment I have ever experienced and it was of course the end of what I thought was a great relationship.
Ouch. A few stories that I bet many of the involved would love to forget. Valentines is considered to be the pinnacle of a relationship. Where love is displayed and expressed in various methods. But when you’re just not feeling it, break ups and arguments of the most memorable proportion can occur. We hope everyone affected by these stories is now in a happy relationship, but if not, there’s always the silver lining of being featured in a part 2 to this blog! To all the readers, fingers crossed this article made you feel better about your past romantic exploits. Please tune in next time for more crazy stories. If you want to buy the t-shirt that inspired this blog then please click HERE. If you want to read more chaotic Valentines mishaps then please click HERE. Thankyou once again for reading, see you next time!
