No matter who you are, how righteous or pure intentioned your actions, you will have definitely told a lie at some point. Lies come in all shapes and sizes. From small white fibs to huge WTF bombs that can ruin lives. There are also many reasons for lies, from telling your friend you like the smell of her new perfume so you don’t hurt her feelings, to making up reputation harming stories about a person to see them squirm. Lies come in many different forms but today we at PrintShirts have decided to give you the most unbelievable, crazy fables ever told. So strap in and welcome to funniest fibs: 10 of the worst liars to live!
1
Funniest Fibs: Garage Gaff
Pilsner, 29
“When I was about 10 I hit a hole in the side of my parent’s brick garage with a hammer out of boredom. My parents interrogated us all individually. I blamed it on my brother. I swore I saw him do it. They then rounded up all three of us together and gave us a chance to be honorable and admit to it. When no one fessed up they told us that they already knew who had done it and that he might as well just fess up now. I kept silent and in a split second my dad grabbed my brother and pulled him up stairs by his shirt. We sat through what seemed like an eternity of slaps and screams.
I had got away with it. I never told a soul for 15 years. It changed my life for ever. I physically cannot lie with out getting choked up and sweaty.
Three years ago at Christmas I was talking to my brother about old times. He says, “Remember when dad pretended to beat me in order for you to confess, but you just let me take it. Jerk.” and playfully punched me in the arm. I just stood there with my jaw on the floor.”
2
Funniest Fibs: Rainy Days
Beverly, 17
“When I was very young I went to an arcade with my dad, I played one of those ski games, and it was the first game I went to. But I had to pee very bad before going in. It was raining outside, and I p*ssed my pants on the game, because I was doing really well and didn’t want to waste money. After my timer ran out, I told my dad I stepped in a puddle outside and got soaked. He knew.”
3
Funniest Fibs: Illness Or Illusion?
Taylor, 24
My friend James, met an American girl Cate, online two years ago. They started talking and eventually she came over to visit him in Ireland, and they began a romantic relationship. He has been over to visit her and was crazy about her, to the point she was talking about moving over to Ireland to be with him this summer.
About 5 months ago, he got a message saying she was going into hospital for an operation for severe kidney stones. We paid no attention, and James heard nothing for 2 weeks. Out of the blue, he gets a distraught message from a supposed friend of hers, saying that something went wrong during surgery and Cate was in a coma. We thought this suspicious, but James was horribly upset, so we focused on supporting him.
James was waiting on updates from this friend, who was supposed to be getting news from Cate’s parents, to the point it was visibly affecting him in work. Around mid March, he gets an update from the friend: the pneumonia wasn’t the only thing that had caused complications. They had found suspicious results and had just confirmed she had ovarian cancer. Cate was in the military, so she would be treated at a military hospital, and the friend wasn’t sure of being able to contact her. James broke down completely. Poor guy really loved her, and she was incredibly sick. Or so he thought.
Last Friday, he goes on Facebook, and starts typing Cate’s name to go to her profile, when another profile pops up in the search, with just her first name, but with her picture there. On this profile, he found it was a shared page with her ex, and it had details of their engagement.
He confronted her, and she admitted to making up the illness.”
Ouch. That one wasn’t funny, more of a WTF’er.
4
Funniest Fibs: The Ski Skiver
Carl, 20
“I was about 9 or 10, and my Dad, my brother and I were skiing in on Blackcomb in Whistler, BC. We took a shortcut that involved us navigating this very narrow path that cut across to the ski hill. The path had a pretty steep drop on one side. I was looking up at my dad in front of me, when my right foot slipped on the edge of the path and I went flying down the nearly vertical drop. After gaining a lot of speed, I faceplant hard in the snow about 30ft down the hill.
When my dad and brother came to see if I was okay, I told them that my back hurt and I couldn’t move. Followed by this was the Ski Patrol putting me on a stretcher with a neck brace, and getting rushed to the hospital. My dad told me he was pretty worried.
I landed snow, I wasn’t in pain. I put myself through all that just because I didn’t feel like skiing anymore.”
5
Funniest Fibs: Age Evasion
Stumpy-Muck, 29
“When I was 13 I was playing world of Warcraft and someone asked me my age. 13 was so young so I lied and said I was 14. Because that meant I was so much more mature. Well I kept playing wow, with the same group of people, and 4 years later they thought I was 18.
Someone started asking me how my applications to college were going since I was that age. Being caught in the lie about my age I played along and asked for advice. I played along with the advice which resulted in me actually putting in a college application to a university and…. I got in. As a high school junior.
So to keep up this lie about my age I now had to finish high school quickly so I could actually go to this university that accepted me. Great part is that I was able to do this by overloading my spring semester of “Senior” year high school with online classes (yay Florida online high school). I managed to graduate high school a year early and went to university a year early to keep this lie going.
So here I am, at a university 1000miles from my home state, finished my BS and now doing a masters. All because 14 sounded way more mature than 13 on a fucking video game.”
We’re all guilty of lying from time to time for our own personal gain. And of course, no one’s here to judge you. After all, it’s a dog eat dog world so everyone deserves to do a little something to help themselves. Sometimes, however, we can go a little too far, as is the case with some of these. If you want to read more outrageous lies then please click here. If you want to buy the t-shirt that inspired this blog then please click here. Thankyou for reading, tune in next week for more funny stories!
