Everyone has a friend that is, in politically correct terms, unintelligent. So much so that sometimes you may even wonder how they get dressed in the morning. Whilst their idiocy can sometimes be frustrating, they can also have you rolling on the floor with absolute hysteria. Despite their foolish ways they do certainly make life interesting, and this blog is inspired by the immense lack of common sense shown by our less ably minded friends. This weeks blog is all about the Brainless Blokes: 10 stories of stupidity to make you cringe. Enjoy your read!
DISCLAIMER: We at Printshirts aren’t responsible for any brain cells lost during this read!
1
Brainless Blokes: Sleeping It Off
James, 26
“One night during high school, my friend and I got invited to a party. I didn’t drive back then so my friend picked me up. All went well on our way to the party. On the way back however, he got pulled over. As we were pulling to the side of the road, I told him that I was gonna pretend to be sleeping (since I was the passenger). Anyway, I hear the cop get out of his cop car, walk towards our car, stops at the window but doesn’t say anything. I can feel the brightness of his flashlight but I don’t hear him or my friend say anything. After about what seemed like an eternity, I decide to open my eyes to see what’s going on. That’s when I see my friend, the guy who is driving, is pretending like he is sleeping too.”
2
Brainless Blokes: Flooding Season
Arnold, 32
“My brother and I were in the kitchen one day as teenagers. My brother was filling the sink to wash dishes. When the sink was nearly full he went to turn the tap off but it wouldn’t budge so the water kept flowing. I tried turning it too but with no success. This is when the panic set in. The level of the water was rising fast and we didn’t want to flood the kitchen. He took big saucepans out of the press to fill with water to keep things from over flowing, while i was in a frantic scramble under the sink trying to find the mains to turn it off there. I couldn’t find it!!
Now really panicking I took over the pot filling duty and my brother went running off to look for dad as quick as he could. Dad came running in with my brother while we were shouting at him about looking for the mains. Dad just came over to the sink and pulled the plug out of the hole letting all the water down the drain.”
3
Brainless Blokes: Breaking The Chain
Kirsty, 28
“I had manager named Roxanne (Rocky). She was a bleach blonde (literally bleached her hair once a month and then wondered why it broke/fell out) bubble head who only had the job because daddy owned the restaurant.
Rocky was really obsessed with her looks and not much else. One day she told me, and a co-worker, that she had her nose job done so that her eventual children wouldn’t grow up with the same nose as her. She wasn’t kidding. The co-worker and I just looked at each other and walked away. We knew it wasn’t worth the effort.”
4
Brainless Blokes: Which Hole?
Penelope, 30
“my friends sister was 20 and pregnant, she said something about how upset she was her vagina would be ruined, I jokingly said “maybe he’ll come out of your butt instead” she said “what do you mean? can they come out of there too?”, I thought she was joking so I just said “duh, it’s a 50/50 shot” she thought I was serious and asked her doctor if he could tell if the baby was gonna come out of her vagina or ass.”
5
Brainless Blokes: Roots
Tracey, 37
“Back in my younger and crankier days I worked with as young woman who was hands down the dumbest person I’ve ever met. The best/worst example of her stupidity involved her chatting with a manager who was African American (she’s white). They were discussing their shared slightly uncommon name and then realized their families both came from South Carolina. She thought for a few minutes and then excitedly exclaimed “I bet my family owned yours!”. She was so proud of herself for figuring out that historic connection. The manager didn’t say a word and just walked away.”
6
Brainless Blokes: Cookie Time!
Roberto, 44
“When I was in the Navy, there was a cook on my ship. He once served “rare” chicken. I genuinely couldn’t tell whether he was trying to cover up his limitless incompetence or if he genuinely believed that rare poultry is a real thing. He was dumb enough to believe it. Another time, he just filled a pan with ground beef and called it meat loaf. Another time he was supposed to make sugar cookies for the whole crew. He didn’t bother to read the label on the container he opened, and apparently he didn’t taste the batter at any point, and he actually made salt cookies. He used up all the remaining salt in the pantry and we had unseasoned food for the remaining several weeks of the mission, during which time the captain assigned someone to be the cook’s bodyguard.”
7
Brainless Blokes: Lost In Translation
Seth, 23
“One of my roommates. I live in a house where we give interviews to prospective new roommates to make sure they’re cool. We were interviewing a deaf guy, and he was looking like a good fit. We also have a list of rules and guidelines for living in the house, and one of the current roommates asks “oh man, are we gonna have to get the rules printed in braille?” For. A. Deaf. Guy.”
8
Brainless Blokes: Motor Moron
Bill, 32
“When I was a teenager my friends older brother was one of the dumbest I’d ever encountered. We once witnessed him trying to see inside a motorcycle gas tank using a bic lighter. He assured us a lighter flame isn’t hot enough to ignite gasoline.”
9
Brainless Blokes: Mistaken Identity
Mark, 24
“I’m an identical twin, and have been asked all manner of utterly ridiculous questions about it throughout my life. But I think the stupidest was when a girl once asked me “do you ever get yourselves mixed up with each other?” I responded “are you asking me if I ever sometimes think I’m my brother?” she replied, “yeah.”
No. I don’t.”
10
Brainless Blokes: Plant Brain
Mason, 21
“Back when the Fukushima nuclear power plant disaster happened we were discussing how the reactor had failed in a science class. 5 minutes into the conversation a girl piped up and said “I don’t see what the big deal is. Why can’t we just regrow it?”
She dead ass thought a nuclear power plant was… A plant”
Sometimes the level of stupidity is so high you can’t do anything but laugh. That is the case with most of the stories told here, but I would advise the brother with a bic lighter that it IS in fact hot enough to light gasoline! We all have a senior moment from time to time, it’s best to make light of them when the happen. If you want to buy the t-shirt that inspired this blog then please click here. If you want to carry on reading stories of hilarious lunacy then please click here. Once again it has been a pleasure to write this blog for you, I have enjoyed every second! See you next time, tune in for more funny stories on a different topic!
