Every child hates school, but as soon they leave and enter the world of work they would more than likely give anything to be back in that classroom with their friends. Some of the best memories most people have are from the education phase of their life. From detentions to lunchbreaks to field trips, some of the stories cultivated in these situations are the ones that stick with a person for the rest of their life. In this blog, I will do my best to give you the most hilarious examples of this that I can. So this weeks blog is about classroom chaos: 10 silly school stories to laugh at! Read to receive a heavy dose of nostalgia and desire to relive your youth!
1
Classroom Chaos: The Musical Wrestler
“When I was in school, our band program was new and still very small. Sometimes we’d have chill days (especially after football season ended) where we would just play around in the band hall. One day, some of the boys decided to gang up on our band director (a young, slight, 24-25 year old man) and try to wrestle him. This one kid who, even at 14 or so was built like a line backer, snuck up on the director and tried to jump on his back.
The director noticed at the last second, grabbed the kid’s wrist, and straight up flipped him over his back and slammed him to the floor like a fucking pro wrestler. He stood up all wide eyed and half-smiling, not sure if he should be proud of himself or submitting his resignation for flipping a student. The landing knocked the wind clean out of the kid. Everyone else thought it was hilarious and applauded. They never messed with him again.”
2
Classroom Chaos: Food Fight
“During the last week of my junior year there was supposedly going to be a food fight that Wednesday. I don’t think anyone expected it to happen but we all really wanted to see it. About half way through lunch we see a cup of shaved ice go flying high across the lunch room from one corner to the other. I felt like I was seeing it in slow motion. Then from the corner it hit, a small tray of chicken nuggets and a tray of French fries went flying back in retaliation.
There was about two seconds of shocked silence. The look on everyone’s face was like “is this really about to happen”. Then everybody knew shit was about to get real. All hell broke loose. You would have thought the whole thing was choreographed. I have never seen so much of anything in the air at the same time.
The Security guards would see someone throw something, try to catch them, but end up getting hit with a piece of pizza in the face then try to go after that person just to get hit with something else from another direction. They had no idea what to do. The “What the fuck, this isn’t supposed to happen in real life” look on all the teachers and security guards faces will be burned into my brain forever. The whole thing was over in less than a minute but it always makes me laugh when I think about it.”
3
Classroom Chaos: Christ Almighty
“I went to a catholic school that had lockers on the 2nd floor. Someone found a hole in the bottom of their locker that went right through the ceiling of the classroom below. He would speak into the hole every now and then pretending to be God calling out to the class. The acoustics were perfect in that locker. It took the teacher weeks to catch the culprit.”
4
Classroom Chaos: The Man In The Walls
“My senior year, I found that if you look above the drop ceiling in the upstairs men’s bathroom, there is a huge (like 12+ foot high) cave. You could climb on pipes, the tops of walls etc to navigate through most of the second floor. So naturally, my friends and I would take opportunities to explore this new found space. In order to get up there, you would have to occupy the handicapped stall and stand on the rails, move a tile aside, and pull yourself up. Because a variety of people (including snitches and teachers) used this restroom, secrecy was important. So we always replaced the tile while exploring. This, as you could imagine, made getting down problematic if there wasn’t a watchman.
The absolute best (and last) experience with this happened early one morning. A friend and I were feeling bold, and went exploring without a spotter. Predictably, someone walks in below. I should mention how amplified sound gets while you’re up there, so our stifled giggles were incredibly obvious. Whoever was in there called out ‘Hello?’, in a very creeped out way. We compose ourselves, and wait for him to leave. A short while later, we hear the door. So, with haste, I go back to the entrance tile, and remove it. Oh, fuck. Creeped out kid is standing there, in horror, as he sees me remove the tile from the ceiling. I can see him through the crack in the stall. He puts his hands up, walks backwards into the wall with urinals, and practically runs out the door. My friend and I get out of there immediately.
Later that day, rumours start to spread about some guy watching people use the bathroom. Some got as crazy as to say he was in the walls, and had removed a brick to spy through. All the bathrooms are locked, the police show up. Apparently the school went on some sort of alert, they thought some creepy guy was fapping to teenage boys taking shits. My friend and I spent the day thinking we were getting expelled. In the end, the ‘creep’ (me and my friend), were never caught, and they installed these little tabs in all the drop ceilings, making them impossible to get into without breaking the tabs and making it obvious. Eventually the whole school learned the real story, and pretty much everyone knew who was involved, including a few teachers. It eventually added up to nothing but a great story.”
5
Classroom Chaos: Kegging
“Year was 2007, 5th period, History class. I was sitting in the front row with a clear view of the hallway. It was a mundane lecture until, out of the corner of my eye, I see a moderately attractive classmate walking in the hallway. Two seconds later she intersects with her friend. All of a sudden her friend “pants” her, she trips and does a face-plant. I burst out laughing but, to my horror, no one else noticed. As a result, I was known as the dude who started randomly laughing during a holocaust lecture. Sigh.”
6
Classroom Chaos: Presentation Time
“So it was Year 9 and there was this shy kid that everyone either picked on or left alone as if he didn’t exist. He was a weird kid but he wasn’t bothering anyone or anything and I didn’t really know him at all besides his name.
One day, we’re in science class and he sat in the desk next to me and the teacher calls him up for a presentation. He looks over at me and says the only three words he ever said to me: “This is bad” and walks up to the front of the class with a huge erection in that shitty thin material that schools used for gym shorts. I’m in shock and everyone is like ‘What…’ and this kid just stood there and ripped off a 10 minute presentation with this boner.”
7
Classroom Chaos: The Founder Is Packin’
“Didn’t happen to me or even at my school, but friend I had who went to very nice preppy school, in a very very very nice wealthy area, got ridiculously stoned and superglued a giant (probably 14 inch) black dildo to the school’s founder’s statue. They proceeded to bring in a full construction crew to remove it the next day. The problem was, they couldn’t remove it properly, so they cut it off, leaving the base of the dildo attached to the statue.”
8
Classroom Chaos: Duty Calls!
“One day in sophomore year a guy in our last class of the day gets a phone call right in the middle of the lecture. He pulled out his phone said “hold on I gotta take this” to the look of utter shock on everyone’s faces. Then he goes “WHAT!? Really!?” Hangs up stands up and goes “duty calls!” And rips his shirt off to reveal a superman costume underneath, boots and everything. He take off and starts running around in the hall. We saw him run by twice with the school cop in chase. He ended up hiding the rest of class in a bathroom. And got a week suspension. So worth it.”
9
Classroom Chaos: Don’t G Check The Czech
“We had a kid that moved to our school from Czechoslovakia and had some prior military training. He could barely speak English and was constantly the butt of the jokes. He had a pretty good sense of humour though and even though we messed with him, he took it in stride… Then one day, we were in shop class and one of the more popular kids (and said popular kid was like a 6′-6″ basketball player) starts messing with him and tells him to pull the spark plug wire on this go-kart the class was building. The Czech kid does it and gets the shit shocked out of him, and a few kids start laughing. The popular basketball player kid keeps jawing at him and won’t let it go.
Then later that same day, we’re in gym and that same basketball player threw a volleyball or something at the Czech – and the Czech calmly walks over – and then jumps up and kicks the basketball kid squarely in the face. Basketball player starts falling down and the Czech beats the T-total shit out of him. It was maybe 45 secs or so before anyone could stop him and by that point he’d landed a good 20 punches to the other kid.”
10
Classroom Chaos: Catch
“My art teacher in high school was an army veteran and he didn’t take shit from anyone. If you were talking when he was talking you were liable to get shit thrown at you. So one day, this kid got on his last nerve and he pulls a HAND GRENADE out of his desk, pulls the pin, and lobs it at this kid. The kid catches it and freaks out, and the teacher just starts laughing. Apparently, he keeps a disarmed hand grenade in his desk just for stuff like this.”
There you go! I hope a few of these stories made your day a little brighter. There’s nothing better than reminiscing on your days as a teen, life gets so serious we forget to have fun sometimes and that’s what being young was all about! If you want to buy the t-shirt that inspired this blog then please click here. If you want to read more funny school stories then please click here. Thankyou for reading once again, have an amazing day and make sure to tune in for the next blog, more comical stories incoming.
